I have always envisioned sharing everything with my significant other. My finances. My clutter. We would co-own things, and my future six-figure salary as a doctor would be his as well. While pragmatically, everything should not be split 50/50 (I do not plan on taking his retirement savings), my ideal partnership is egalitarian.
In my neurotic mind, this minimizes any potential life-style clashing and makes decision making, which is often money-driven, shared, and transparent. My Boyfriend is aware of my relationship philosophy and seems to have similar views. As things between us have increasingly become more serious, we have talked about living together in the near future and would like to co-own things.
I tend to build castles in the sky, some with and without foundation. The daydreams are often about our future. We share small things like utensils. We share larger items, such as a couch or a car. Often in these dreams, a toddler is wobbling down a side-walk, and My Boyfriend runs after him smiling. And we would share a mattress, where we will probably spend the majority of our shared time together.
I am well aware that my elaborate daydreams are just that — dreams. Maybe My Boyfriend and I will have that future, or perhaps I will live alone in my ethereal castles. But one’s bed, one’s place of rest, is an intimate belonging. Our future children might climb into Our Bed and cuddle with us on crisp fall Saturday mornings. How many times will we lie spooning on Our Bed talking about our mundane workdays and plans for the week? Tears will be shed, and laughs will undoubtedly shower Our Bed. For me, the acquisition of Our First Mattress (warranty of at least 15 years) is momentous.
My Boyfriend knows he needs to propose before moving in with me. I have made that clear. I was engaged once previously (a story for another time) and only plan on intertwining my life again with someone in a long-term commitment. So, I figured when we eventually moved in, we would get Our Bed with Our Mattress. His lease is up in 7 months, and I technically have a mine locked for another year and a half with my fabulous roommate. Our Bed exists maybe in 2021.
I didn’t know what to think when he found a discounted mattress brand on Black Friday 2019, and he asked my opinion about it. He showed me some options, and we agreed model X wouldn’t be too stiff or too soft. He wanted my support, and he even asked my permission.
He knows about my silly fantasies. About Our Bed and how I have threatened to burn the unpalatable orange leather couch, courtesy of his grandma if it ever made it to Our Place. He even knows about the vibe that I want Our Place to give off: androgynous, well-coming, modern bohemian.
He agreed it would be Our Bed. He even called me (he doesn’t like that medium of communication) to confirm that I was okay with him going ahead and purchasing it. In many ways, it was one of the most romantic gestures he has ever shown me.
Now I am just sitting contemplating what it means. Am I happy about this development? Am I scared by it? I guess I will just revel in one of my fantasies, finally coming to life and enjoy Our Mattress that comes this Monday.
